Minister's Message
Lisa Stauffer, SFO, Minister
St. Maximillian Kolbe Fraternity, Deltona, Florida.
June 2004

Picture, if you will, a pair of newly weds: a young man and woman, deeply in love, and starting out on their life together. Everything they do is full of wonder and passion. Then it happens...he is rummaging through the refrigerator looking for a snack. He opens a storage container and finds leftovers so old that they have transmogrified into a science experiment. Instead of finding it humorous, he explodes in anger. She suddenly notices that he leaves the toilet seat up and squeezes the toothpaste from the middle and, instead of shrugging it off, she begins to feel resentful. They are both busy at work and with their growing family. They don't have time to be a "couple" anymore because they're too busy being breadwinners and parents. If an attractive co-worker enters this picture, one who quickens the pulse of one of them, the situation is ripe for adultery or divorce. 

We humans like to feel passionate and alive. We like novelty. Som6times we can forget that the
strongest and best love is the love that has deepened over time and care and tribulations. We forget that a couple cannot survive without the participation and devotion of both members of the couple. Our wife, rolling her eyes at the forgetfulness of her husband, who leaves the toilet seat gaping open, and our husband, shaking his head over the forgetfulness of his wife, who lets food spoil in the refrigerator, need to spend time alone together remembering what it was that made them fall in love in the first place. Together they can fan the embers of their love to keep their marriage alive.

The same can be said about being a Secular Franciscan. During our initial time of formation, everything is new and exciting. We read our formation materials and feel a resonance in our souls. Yes! I understand! I feel like this, too! We make our profession, resolving to be the very best Franciscans we can be. Then it happens... we suddenly realize that we are bringing snacks more often than other people, or we are the only ones staying afterward to clean up the room, or we think that the ongoing formation one month is particularly boring. Little by little other distractions interfere with going to the fraternity meetings. It's, the same weekend as this other meeting or it' s raining and nasty outside, and can't I be a Secular Franciscan just as well at home?

The answer is yes. As a person is still a person being single rather than married, a Secular Franciscan is still Franciscan without a fraternity. However, as a couple cannot be successful without the full participation and devotion of both husband and wife, a fraternity cannot be successful without the full participation and devotion of its members. A fraternity depends on the unique talents and gifts of each Franciscan: the spirituality of one, the humor of another, some one's lovely singing voice, another's quiet devotion, someone's organizational skills, and the empathy of another.

The fraternity, though, is not a parasitic organization, sucking from its members its time and talents with nothing to offer in return. The members of a fraternity become a second family in Christ. We pray together as a group and we pray for one another. We know that burdens shared are lessened and joys shared are increased. We learn from each other and receive encouragement as we all live our gospel life in our differing lives. The fraternity tended with care and devotion becomes a group of loving friends, not bound by rules, but by agape, the perfect love given by God.

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