Good Priests I have known
by Fred Schaeffer, SFO

In order to direct your attention to priests in general, and good priests in particular, I would like to honor a priest who became a good friend. He passed away some time ago, but he is frequently in my thoughts and prayers.

I first met Fr. Paul Steffan, OFM Cap, at Glenclyffe High School in Garrison, NY in September of 1959. This High School was the Capuchin's Minor Seminary, or part of it and was located on the same property as Mary Immaculate Friary (House of Theology), but at present time, this property has been sold and is no longer associated with the Capuchin-Franciscan Order, St. Mary Province (New York - New England).

Fr. Paul lived from 1931 to 2002, became a Capuchin in 1949, and was ordained to the Priesthood in 1957. And, as a young priest, at the time I first met him, he was assigned to provide some basic sex education at this High School. From what I recall of it, and it was, after all, many years ago, it wasn't the easiest course to teach to a bunch of young men of different background, some very wise for their age, and others naive about the subject at hand. To bridge that gap required a patient and even-handed individual, and Paul was both. Sex education, basically the responsibility of a parent, needs repeating in a Seminary to infuse this subject with the tenets of Catholic Teaching. Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR, in 1959 still a Capuchin friar and a resident at Mary Immaculate Friary, used to regale on the subject of morals that if you couldn't explain it to a taxicab driver, hair dresser or check-out girl, nobody would understand it, so these classes had to be approached with directness and simplicity.

Actually, I was a "Senior" in that high school year, but I was only taking one year because I had already graduated from a public High School. The purpose of the year was to get remedial training in religion, greek and latin. The sex education was thrown in for free along with some other courses that everyone went through.

That I did not stay with the Capuchins wasn't particularly due to lack of a vocation as much as it was due to illness in my family and the need for me to return home. So after almost three-quarters of the Novitiate year had passed, I felt the need to leave, and I did. It was, however, through this ongoing friendship with Paul, that I continue to have a soft spot in my heart for all Capuchins. And, as a Secular Franciscan, they are, after all family, as are all Franciscans. So I really do not single any part of the family out.

Paul and I next met three years later, after I had finished military service (out of country), although I did see him at my father's deathbed during an emergency leave in 1963. He was most kind to my family and myself and a strong ally to have during this emotional and difficult time. I lived in Jamaica, New York (Queens Cty.) from 1964 to 1984, and during that time I saw him at least once a month but usually more often, and he used to send me short notes by mail. To the best of my recollection, he was in Yonkers, NY at Sacred Heart Parish and Friary for at least 8 years, then spent some time in New Paltz, NY and Portland, ME. I visited him once in New Paltz, and once or twice in Portland while vacationing in Maine, one of my favorite places.

Then he was moved to White Plains, NY to the Order's Provincialate, where he was elected Minister Provincial. That gives an indication that he was well-liked among the brethern. Provincials are elected by majority vote at a Provincial Chapter where everyone attends. At the time, I believe the Province had 260 men, spread over New York, the New England States, and in the Missions in Honduras/Nicaragua, Guam, and some other places.

This friendship was not only a priest-penitant relationship although it may have begun this way, but a close friendship of two men, coming together to talk, have a meal, go to the beach (I recall visiting the Portland lighthouse with him), visit nice restaurants, and the like. Capuchins had pocket money but I don't think they had a lot of it, so all these visits were low-key. Then after I had already moved to Florida (1984), we mostly wrote one another. I missed him a lot, particularly because he was diabetic (badly) and I feared I would never see him again.

However, when I was with the Monks of Adoration in Massachusetts, the brothers were going to visit with one of the Auxiliary Bishops who lived in New Haven, CT., and I got the idea to ask permission to visit with Fr. Paul at St. Pius X Parish in Middletown, CT., which was on the way. This request was granted, and it was an excellent visit. And, at the end of the visit when the monks returned to pick me up to return to the monastery, the Capuchins invited us to stay for the evening meal - and I recall it to this day - a real family meal between religious - praise God! It was the last time I saw Paul. I really have to put my thinking cap on to recall when this visit to Middletown took place ... but I believe it was in the winter of 2001 just before the monks moved to Florida.

Paul passed away in July of 2002. I was unable to attend his Funeral, besides, it had already occurred when I heard about this passing. A 43-year friendship. It was a gift from God! If I have any regret it is that I didn't tell him often enough how much I loved and appreciated him. He was an "Alter Christus" in every way, and a kind, considerate, jovial and very witty person. He gave me a lot of "unsolicited advice" even when it wasn't welcome - but he cared, and that was the main thing. He did a lot of good for all people he met, in a typical Capuchin way. Praise God!

See also Last Letter Between Friends

Fred Schaeffer, SFO (Sep. 2009)