209.  Charity Begins at Home

We can be utter failures in exercising charity early in the morning. Almost every day, usually at the most inconvenient times, many of us are bombarded with calls from well-meaning telemarketers who are trying to turn a buck for the client they represent. I do not want to name names... some are very worthy charities and some... well, let's say that there is some possibility for fraud here, and some people believe that we Floridians are the most gullible people on earth. Not true!!! Why do people believe this... because it seems that the majority of the "telemarketers market" is directed at Seniors.

Yesterday, Memorial Day, I received a call from someone I believe I had spoken to before, representing one of the veteran groups. Very worthy organization. I would support them if I could but the fact of the matter is that I can't. I live from month to month with not too many dollars in between, and with gas prices what they are and all other considerations, I cannot even tithe at my home parish, let alone make charitable contributions to other worthy organization. As things go, the lady on the phone would not take no for an answer and as she waltzed on about giving me an "option" - I angrily hung up on her. I told her I wasn't interested in her options, and I didn't even use any nasty language, which I am quite capable of when 'cornered.' But it still bothered me, because I believe in being charitable to all I encounter for whatever reason.

All people, whether they believe in God or not, are made in His Image - so people deserve our respect. Note I did not say that they deserve our tacit agreement. Telemarketers need to make a living for their families, so you can't blame them for trying. But I have stopped giving because I can't. There are many senior citizens who have thousands in the bank... I am not one of these. I am not complaining either, but leave us alone. Stop bugging us. If someone tells you they aren't going to talk to you, don't talk about options ... yes, I know, just $13.75 this year. My answer is still NO. That has to suffice because it is the naked truth. I can't do it. The monthly "slush-fund" has been eaten up by the latest gasoline increase. I have to drive to West Palm Beach to visit VA doctors on two consecutive days, coming up soon.... That's $40 worth of gasoline right there. If it were only $20 as it was last year, well, early last year, then I would have extra money to give away. But now ...

There was a young man, another telemarketer, a few years ago, who offered me a combination deal... you subscribe to the local paper, and the local paper would donate "x" amount of dollars to a particular charity. I said no, because I didn't like the newspaper in question ... and then the young man began to lambaste me up one side down the other for not caring about children (the charity). I hung up on him. He called back, told me what I might do with myself. It is these sort of people who ruin it for everyone else, who represents a well-meaning charity. He wasn't the only boorish one, there have been others. Some people today cannot deal with the word NO, no matter how kindly it is spoken. Is that what Seniors deserve. I think not.

A friend of mine, had a different tactic in dealing with a telemarketer who was trying to sell Long-Distance telephone service. In a perfectly bland voice, he'd tell the salesperson that he didn't have a phone.  It worked too, at least once. Since this was in Massachusetts, perhaps they haven't caught on down here yet.

Charity begins at home, but only in wholesome homes. People who come from broken homes where there was little charity between husband and wife, and not likely to have charitable ways. At least, that's been my experience. The shoe has been on the other foot, too. About 30 years ago, I was working for a large International airline company. Selling tours, or tour packages, to cold leads. A 'cold' lead is someone whose name and address come from a travel magazine mailing list, perhaps. Someone not necessarily interested in traveling, but who just might. I admit that this was one of the hardest tasks I've had to do in life. Selling something to people who really weren't in the market. Some people would hang up on you. That was more charitable, than being told where to go, and then being hung up on. Many people graciously said no. Some talked about their previous travel adventures and one began to realize that they were lonely and just wanted to talk, but that was all.

Similar experiences were had by me, when I worked for a couple of years with a local office dealing with wildlife. A score of people would call daily with some inane question about birds (why do these big Herons always stoop down? That's what they do. God made them so) only to talk for 20 minutes about their lives. If I had the time, I would listen, while I was doing something else in the background. These telephone headsets are marvelous. You can talk while drawing a map, for example. I still use them, and for the same purpose, so I can talk, say "MmMm" every so often, and make believe like I'm really interested what the other person is saying. Watch out, that's not very charitable, but sometimes it's the only way short of just hanging up. Of course, I do not do this with my friends.

I believe in "give and take" in a conversation. It's just the one-way conversations I can do without. Sometimes the best thing to do, when you get a call from someone you really did not want to talk to, is to say. "Thank you for calling, but I am not interested." And then hang up. If you don't, they've got you and you've lost. Better yet, when your caller ID says "unknown caller" - don't pick up. That's hard to do, because some of my friends use cell phones which also do not leave a correct ID message. But I think I will screen my calls better, next time. Saves a lot of frustratium!

Sometimes I need a big doze of common-sense! Use the caller ID - that's what it's for, to shield our privacy, so we can make time for the really important people in our lives.

May the Lord bless you and keep you well!

Fred Schaeffer, sfo
5/30/06

bro. Fred's Reflections Index