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330. Dealing with Loss Most people have trouble dealing with Loss. A spouse has passed away, your best friend is suddenly gone. When you're young you don't think about losing someone, in fact, most likely, you think you are invincible. Recently a High School student was felled by a speeding automobile. I was amazed at the deep outpouring of fellow students, their comments and their involvement in condolences, sympathy. They were grieving. Some people, however, cannot grieve, cannot let go, and for them dealing with loss is very painful. When you're 65 or older, many friends and relatives pass on, and you begin to wonder if you're going to be next. So we stay as prepared as we can. We attend Holy Mass more often, and perhaps join a Parish's lady's or man's group. Such groups keep our minds focused and prayerfully prepared for the inevitable. We pray for the deceased as He or She prays for us from Heaven, and the loss is not so great. If we are enjoying a strong spiritual life, we need to guard against "losing the Beloved." Jesus Christ living in us, is the beloved. We communicate with Him every day, adore his greatness and his love for us, and we are constantly aware that he is present in our lives. Losing the beloved leads to great loss and loneliness, but prayer will overcome this. St. Elizabeth of Hungary, patron of Secular Franciscans, said, "I would not want to redeem his life (speaking of her departed husband), even if it cost but a single hair, if it were against your will. Now I recommend myself and him to your grace. May your will for us be done." (Year 2, Lesson 8) So if you lost a husband or a wife, or a son or daughter, please commend both the deceased and the living (e.g. yourself) in prayer to our Lord. Husband and wife, you remain a team even though he is in heaven. Give yourself time to grieve. If this means sitting in some corner and crying, please do just that. Tears lead to wonderful healing. Our Lord prays with us as we freely grieve. Then, take control again, and get on with life. Put on a fresh face, and do something practical, but always return to prayer. Keeping the mind busy always helps. May Our Lord bless you and grant you His peace!
Fred Schaeffer, SFO |
