Forgive me, Lord, for having spoken without saying anything. Forgive me for my untrue words, for cowardly words, for insulting words, for stupid words....

Many of us speak of subjects we know nothing about. Let me give you a stupid example of a conversation I had with a Franciscan friar, an elderly man, about something I knew nothing about. There are strobe lights on high towers, and out of the window, a distance away, there was such a tower with such a light. And he asked me if I knew how many times that light blinked. Since I had a lot of pride in those days (this was many years ago), I was going to give an answer even though I had no idea... I told him that the light blinked every 12 seconds.

The facts are that these aircraft warning lights go off about 60-70 times per minute, so the answer should have been "as often as every second." The friar knew more about it than I did, and he castigated me with the words that if I didn't know what I was talking about, I should have said so. He was right, of course.

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this, maybe because we so often hear people say dumb things! And, a good Christian should not say false things.

Our Lord, Jesus Christ, told us only truthful things. It is true that many doubt his words, but He is always truthful. Jesus does not need to speak untruths. He is too large for that. He is larger than life. And if we love Him, we never lie to Him. Do not tell Him, Lord, I didn't sin today, when you know you have. Just love Him, and expect nothing in return. He will love you and love you, he does, a lot.

As honest as Jesus is, be equally honest to whomever you meet. May your words, addressed to others, be a leaven, a breath of fresh air, a moment of truth, a seed to build on. Here I came, destitute, foul, smoky, drunk, wet, sick, mentally crushed, depressed ... and He loves me. I feel His love warmly, invitingly, healthy, uplifting, clean, and it sustains me.

On the Cross, He suffered for me, a broken person, with dirty fingers, broken nails, fetid breath, whipped by the rain, lashed with belts, hammered with big nails, Ecce Homo, Behold the Man. The human condition, here I am like an open book, shameless, selfish, conceited, greedy, lusting after flesh, compromising truths. Stripped of my skin, mortally wounded, with blood dripping from open wounds, close to the end. That is what I did to you my Lord. That is what I weep about, having realized my faults, how they condemn me, knowing that you wish to forgive me if I only say "I'm sorry, Lord."

There is hope, never forget that. Tell Him how you feel. Don't sugarcoat it, He deserves the truth. Bare your soul to Him, and ask if He will forgive you. He will forgive you, if you are honest and take responsibility for your deeds. He will give you hope, strength, insight, grace, an eternal flame to His holy Heart. Be as a child, docile, beckoning, obedient, humble. Tell Him, Jesus, I have sinned. Please forgive me. Then He will.  Go see a priest, if you are Catholic, and tell him what you told Jesus. Tell him in the privacy of the confessional. The priest, in the name of Jesus will grant you absolution, and give you a small penance. Usually a call for a small prayer, which one should pray right after leaving the confessional, lest we forget. If not Catholic, and your sin is serious, talk to a friend, or even a priest, just to get another person's kind words, and ask Jesus for forgiveness.

No sin is too great to be forgiven. As long as you are sorry and state you will not commit the sin again, that's all. Once forgiven, set it out of your mind. Do not think about it again. Be at peace. Do not be tortured forever, and most of all trust in Him who gave His life for you, for me, for everyone. Amen.

Meditation by Fred Schaeffer, SFO 2009